Archive for April, 2009

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Funny email.. so many are true!

April 20, 2009

You know you’re a nurse when… (the ones in bold are ones I agree with)

1) the front of your scrubs reads ‘Nurses… here to save your ass, not kiss it!’

2) you occasionally park in the space with the ‘physicians only’ sign… and knock it over.

 3) you believe some patients are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

 4) you recognize that you can’t cure stupid.

5) you own at least three pens with the names of prescription medications on them.

 6) you believe there’s a special place in hell for the inventor of the call light.

 7) you believe that saying ‘it can’t get any worse’ causes it to get worse just to show you it can.

8 ) you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.**EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!

 9) you believe that any job where you can drive to work in your pajamas is a cool one.

 10) you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.

11) eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural. -eww, not yet anyway…

12) you’ve been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control.

13) you’ve ever heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring, and twelve earrings say ‘I’m afraid of shots.’

14) you’ve placed a bet on someone’s blood alcohol level.

15) you’ve told a confused patient that your name is that of a coworker and to call if they need help.

16) your bladder can expand to the size of a winnebago’s water tank.

17) you have seen more private parts than any prostitute could dream of.

 19) you believe that not all patients are annoying… some are unconscious.

 19) your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down x-rays. ~ I’ve often ruined Grey’s for my bf

20) you don’t get excited about blood, unless it’s your own.

 21) you’ve sworn to have ‘do not resuscitate’ tattooed on your chest. Soon.

22) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you

23) your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.

24) your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change.

25) you believe in the aerial spraying of prozac.

26) you believe that ‘shallow gene pool’ should be a recognized diagnosis.

 27) you believe that the government should require permits to reproduce.

 28) you believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters the phrase ‘Wow, it’s really quiet, isn’t it?

29) you have ever wanted to write a book entitled ‘Suicide: getting it right the first time.’

30) you have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say ‘I have no idea how that got stuck in there.’

31) you’ve had to leave a patient’s room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.~ too many times to count!!

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5 Weeks Left… Really?!?

April 4, 2009

Nursing 3 has gone by really quickly. I guess anything that keeps you busy goes by fast, but I can’t believe I only have 5 weeks left. I feel relieved!

This past week was a really good one in the hosptial, and a kinda crappy one at home. I had rotations at the ER, while my poor boyfriend was sick with a bad cold all week long (I not have a touch of the cold myself, which should make next week so much fun). It mainly sucked because I would come out the ER so excillerated and need someone to talk to, and he’d already be passed out.

So the ER was kind of amazing. Since my hospital is the major trauma center in the area, it only makes sense that the ER would be packed with patients and accidents. It did not dissapoint. The first night there were over 100 patients in the ER.

[Due to HIPPA my descriptions may be vague or even misleading. Rest assured that if the details all sound familiar, it’s definatley a different person. Some of the info will be completely made up, but the medical part should be pretty accurate.]

My first night in the ER I had two interesting patients. My first patient was an elderly woman who had fallen at her house and could not reach the telephone to call for help. She was found by her aid hours later and was transported to us. She was the nicest lil old lady in the world and I was able to spend a decent amount of time with her. Other than some broken bones, which she never complained of the pain of, she seemed very stable. I offered to take her to CT to check her head an abdomen for bleeding, as she was on Coumadin and had some nasty bruises forming on her body already. We chatted while we waited and I helped get her situated for her CAT Scan. I watched the monitor and once the IVP Dye was injected, saw a perfusion of what we presumed to be urine leaking into the thoraxic cavity, right outside of the kidneys. Upon further investigation, she had some internal bleeding and needed surgery. I don’t know how this case ended, but I really hope that she’s doing well and will make a full recovery. She was such a doll.

My second patient… well she wasn’t even my patient, i kinda just walked in Trauma 1 because I was told there was a good case there… was an obese woman in her 60’s in cardiac arrest.  When I walked in the room she was naked on the table, had a tech thrusting on her chest, another tech standing by her side to relieve her, an intern, a resident (basically an intern who can give instructions), a pharmacist (went to same school I did for undergrad- we hit it off pretty well), and a nurse managing the whole scene. I asked the nurse how long compressions had been going on and she said roughly 40 mins. So, she was kind of not coming back at this point. However, her pacemaker was still firing.. which made it seem as though she had a decent pulse on the monitor. It was a little misleading, but her arms were blue and heavy, hanging off the stretcher, her eyes were wide opened (curiosuly enough one pupil was completely dialted while the other was constricted). It was good experience to see a full-code, and it was actually the second dead body I have seen this semester (the first I was able to body bag). All in all it was an interesting night. And, of course, all of the nursing students were jealous that I was part of the “Code Blue” that had been called over the paging system.

My second night was also interesting. I reported back to the ER and saw a classmate from another group there. He’s an ER tech already, so he helped me out some. We had a decent amount of patients, including an alcoholic of 40+ years whose wife still came to help him in the ER when he fell, even though his speach is no longer comprehendable.

The real excitement of the night came when we got to go to the roof and get the Med-evac from the State Police from an MVA accident with possible spinal injuries. You haven’t lived until you rush to the roof of a 10-story building (ok, walk at a moderate pace), with doctors stopping you to ask questions, because they know where your going, and get to wait for a helicopter land and deliver a patient and you don’t know if they’re dead or alive or really much of anything. It was dark and windy and somewhat cold, and I was only wearing my uniform top (short-sleaved, thin material). There were five of us waiting next to the entrance to the roof, with a 50 foot path separating us from the landing site: Greg and I (Nursing Students), a tech, a nurse, and the security guard that brought us up there. We waited in the darkness, pointing at different planes and trying to determine which one was ours. We heard the helicopter before we saw it. It was noisy and the movement from the blades caused a lot of wind. We waited until it had safely landed and then ran out rolling the stretcher to greet the pilot and EMTs.

{Thats all for now! The stories not done, but my shift is over. I will try and update within the next day or too.}

~Muah~