I Hate Spiders… A Random Rant

June 25, 2008


I hate spiders. They creep me out and scare the shit out of me. Which is why I was oh so ecstatic when I woke this morning with a big, hairy one above my bed. OK… it wasn’t that big, but it was still really gross. The body was probably only the size of a nickel, but to me it seemed more like the size of the room.  At 6:32 this morning, the spider was pronounced dead. The cause of death was insect spray posioning and blunt force trauma from a Swiffer Sweeper. I was glad to finally find a use for that swiffer!



I’ve had some spider and cave cricket problems since I’ve moved in almost two years ago. Yes, i said “cave crickets”, (please see the life-like cartoon depiction below).

They are these horrible half spider/half cricket looking things that actually jump at you. Yea, fun little fellows. Look them up. My landlord seems to think that neither of these are problems. I beg to differ.

Jimmy Cricket

This spider incident is probably the last thing I needed, being that I’ve been having crazy nightmares the last few weeks. The spider was really just the 8-legged-icing on the cake. So I’d like to thank that spider, who so haphazardly entered my life this morning, for taking it upon himself to ruin what I can only imagine will be weeks of my sleep. Thanks a lot spider!




  1. I too use my swiffer to kill ceiling lurkers… it works well for high wall spies too (the trick with the wall ones is to touch the bottom of the swiffer to the wall below them and squish up 😉 ) Happy Killing!

  2. You shouldn’t kill the spider, he/she was probably protecting you from cave crickets entering you nose while you slept.

  3. Argh spiders creep the hell out of me too! Srsly, I was browsing your site and clicked the post link and saw a picture loading with the title ‘spiders’. I nearly freaked out. 😛 Though jumping spiders sounds worse than the spiders I used to get in halls that just stood still and taunted me!

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